ADHD Sucks!

I’ve got it all, all right.  Impulsiveness. Fidgeting. Procrastination. Lateness. Can’t sit still. I even have an ADHD coach!

I can sugar coat it all I want but the truth is having ADHD sucks!

I hate it when I say things that are inappropriate or I interrupt people when I don’t mean to. That’s part of my ADHD. I can feel people looking at me thinking I’m rude or obnoxious. I try hard to regulate myself, but sometimes it doesn’t work.

I wish I had long beautiful nails, yet I pick at them. I am always moving, never still. If I have to sit for even a second I start fidgeting. Pick, pick. Even when I type.  If I stop to think, I pick pick some more until I start typing again. It’s uncontrollable.

Oprah said that everyone should sit still and meditate for at least five minutes every day. I tried.  Then I thought to myself (as I found myself picking at my nails, again), “Oprah definitely does not have ADHD.”

I hate that I procrastinate. I look at the clock and think, “OK I will get out of bed at 7:45 a.m.” 7:45 roles around and I think “Well, I could still have time to get ready if I get out of bed at 8:15 a.m.” Every morning I push it to the last possible minute. I end up running around frantic.  Late again! I know there is no reason for this.  I was awake in plenty of time to get ready and be on time. It’s so frustrating (!) because I wait to the last minute and rush — all the time.

I am bad at doing anything that requires filling out paperwork, following steps or taking direction. If it’s complicated and not fun, I don’t want to do it. I leave it to the last possible minute or sometimes do not do it at all. Even with simple things that I have done a hundred times, if it’s more than one step I lose interest.

It’s not fair that I have to have a coach when my friends don’t. Sure I’m grateful to have my coach — without her I wouldn’t accomplish much. But my friends don’t need extra help to get their homework done or get organized. So what the hell?!

Having ADHD is a hell of a lot of work. It’s exhausting. My mind runs crazy all the time. There’s no off and on switch for this stuff. I like that I have a lot of ideas, but sometimes I just want to be able to chill out.

My best friend does not have ADHD. She sits and listens to music for like hours. That is totally impossible for me to do. I have to be listening to music, playing Angry Bird and texting to be able to sit still. We complement each other but I do get jealous of her slow past sometimes.

You can see my ADHD when we meet guys too. She let’s men take control of the conversations. Me, I can kinda dominate. Guys ask her for her number because she so easy going. Guys ask me for me number because I’m fun. I wish I could be more of a combination.

I met a really cute (tall) guy on St. Patrick’s Day. I was with a bunch of friends, dancing, drinking and wearing a very short Irish kilt. He liked me and I gave him my number.

I told my girlfriend the next day that I was going to be very classy next time I saw him. I would only have one glass of wine (not four green beers) and wear a conservative black outfit.

While my game plan was a good idea, my girlfriend reminded me, THAT’S NOT ME! She wisely asked me why I wanted to pretend to be this shy, conservative, calm girl. Eventually this guy is going to see I’m always the girl he met on St. Patty’s day. So I ditched the plan and had a great second date being my outrageous self.

At the end of the day, having ADHD sucks a lot of the time. Sure everyone has some cool personality traits and some that really blow. Some people even say ADHD is a gift.  Others say it isn’t real. I say, you’re crazy!  What do you think?

Contributed by guest blogger, Kelsey Peterson.  You can read more from her under Stories from the Edge.

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4 Responses

  1. Amber

    You described me so perfect! I think you know me better than myself. I too tried to find the positive side about it and make good use of my super power. But honestly i wish sometimes I could see what I would accomplish if I didnt have it. Its people like us that all the people who charge people late fees make a ton of money off of. I have almost never paid a single bill on time in my life and the money is always there in thr bank. All it means is no vacations for my family each year though we could afford it if I paid everything on time. And last, the interrupting others drives me crazy! I have to argue within my head with myself to keep from interrupting others. I believe im a very humble person and eould learn a lot from listening to others but cant concentrate on what others are saying. So i only can imagine what im missing out on. Thanks for sharing your story with others.

  2. Anonymous

    Anything requiring therapy & medication is not a gift. At 36 I still wish to’ve been born normal. It sucks.

  3. graham

    @ anoynamus its funny you say you have access to medication and therapy , i only wish i can get medication for my adhd but these doctors treat me like a jew , they are nazi’s ,its a sad fact but 63% of adhd sufferers don’t get treated for their symptoms and most people who do get medication don’t really need it at all , the mental health system is a joke where i live , they make you go through a bunch of redtape before they even agree to see you, then decide you don’t need medication cause you smoke cigarettes or some stupid excuse like that. i bet doctors want me dead , i’m trying one more then i’m done

  4. Anonymous

    I firmly agree with you! No set of traits is fun when it doesn’t fit in with 95% of any given population. I have struggled with this condition throughout my life. I never understood why friends of mine could focus for hours on end at will and successfully complete all the required tasks while I would struggle. For that reason, I always wondered what it would be like to NOT have ADHD.

    Some people can make the condition work to their advantage, I’m not one of those. I have tried everything meditation, counseling, medication, exercise, nothing seems to work. ADHD is a force to be reckoned with.